{"id":20319,"date":"2018-04-07T13:59:28","date_gmt":"2018-04-07T18:59:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/pathoftreasure.wordpress.com\/?p=20319"},"modified":"2018-04-07T13:59:28","modified_gmt":"2018-04-07T18:59:28","slug":"between-heaven-and-earth","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/prasantaverma.com\/index.php\/2018\/04\/07\/between-heaven-and-earth\/","title":{"rendered":"Between Heaven and Earth"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone  wp-image-20325 lazyload\" data-src=\"https:\/\/pathoftreasure.files.wordpress.com\/2018\/04\/the-hand-3270377_1280.jpg\" alt=\"the-hand-3270377_1280\" width=\"583\" height=\"523\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 583px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 583\/523;\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Too much emptiness facing me, like an abyss. I\u2019m staring into a black hole.<br \/>\nIt aches, friend. I\u2019m not quite sure what to do, sometimes.<br \/>\nI wish I could wrap back up the years and re-do so many things. It\u2019s not that I don\u2019t take joy in watching my kids grow and helping to launch them\u2026 that is a special reward and joy all its own.<br \/>\nIt\u2019s just that I will miss it. I feel I have not been mindful enough. I feel regret. I feel grief.<br \/>\nIt twists inside, this knife, this dagger of pain.<br \/>\nLike something is lost and is dying. And in a way, yes\u2026 it has, it is, it will.<br \/>\nI sip this water, it is bitter, bitter\u2026<br \/>\nStrange taste and strange water.<br \/>\nIt isn\u2019t the same. Nothing is. Nothing will be.<br \/>\nAnd I know this is the way it is supposed to be; that it isn&#8217;t supposed to be <em>the same.<\/em><br \/>\nIt is the way it is meant to be, but all those years I was unwrapping layers and layers of candy\u2026 the joy of THEM. Being around them. The gift of THEM.<br \/>\nAnd why is it that I can only see what I got so caught up in, the daily living of \u2018doing\u2019 this or that, the struggle of getting it all done\u2026 and how many moments I lost because I was not just in that moment? (And you might be saying to me, or thinking about me- but you homeschooled? Yes, but that does not make me any different\u2026)<br \/>\nI struggled with adversities and obstacles&#8230; I found myself stuck between caring for them and simply surviving myself\u2026 and that is a different bitter water, another tale, but it is all intertwined, and it swirls together&#8230;.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m sitting here facing the mountain of my past and present and the long tunnel of the future, a thick fog of unknowns.<br \/>\n<em>Will this calcify, indurate the heart&#8230;\u00a0<\/em><br \/>\nI try to protect myself from more of the same. Pain creates ridges. edges. crusty ends. I push back, from the world, from more of the same.<br \/>\nThis story is the same, though, all around me, each direction I turn. Each a different chapter. Same story.<\/p>\n<p>This abyss of the past\u2026<br \/>\nI hear a voice saying<em>\u2026 child, trust Me&#8230; let it go\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0<\/em><br \/>\nI have to let it go<br \/>\n<em>\u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Let it fly from hands<\/em><br \/>\n<em>Like caged birds<\/em><br \/>\n<em>Seeking freedom<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>Caught between sky and land<\/em><br \/>\n<em>We are flying\u2014 but trapped in this space\u00a0<\/em><br \/>\n<em>Between heaven and earth<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Seeing their hopes and dreams; seeing their futures unfold; seeing their hopeful eyes; seeing them soar&#8230; that gives me joy. God is good, faithful, fulfills promises. He directs the winds, He gives us wings.<\/p>\n<p>They fly\u2026 but His hands are underneath.<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-20339 lazyload\" data-src=\"https:\/\/pathoftreasure.files.wordpress.com\/2018\/04\/butterfly-3290666_1280.jpg\" alt=\"butterfly-3290666_1280\" width=\"1280\" height=\"856\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 1280px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 1280\/856;\" \/><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-20320 lazyload\" data-src=\"https:\/\/pathoftreasure.files.wordpress.com\/2018\/04\/release-fmf.jpg\" alt=\"release FMF\" width=\"400\" height=\"400\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 400px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 400\/400;\" \/><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/fiveminutefriday.com\/2018\/04\/05\/fmf-link-up-release\/\">This week\u2019s Five Minute Friday prompt is \u201cRelease\u201d<\/a><\/p>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<h6><em>(Image sources: Pixabay)<\/em><\/h6>\n<p>***<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Too much emptiness facing me, like an abyss. I\u2019m staring into a black hole. It aches, friend. I\u2019m not quite sure what to do, sometimes. I wish I could wrap back up the years and re-do so many things. It\u2019s not that I don\u2019t take joy in watching my kids grow and helping to launch [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[59,77,78,79,80,83,85,114,213,216,218],"tags":[342,529,661],"class_list":["post-20319","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-five-minute-friday","category-gods-faithfulness","category-gods-love","category-gods-promises","category-gods-protection","category-grace","category-grief","category-journey","category-surrender","category-thankfulness","category-time","tag-children","tag-grief","tag-life"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Between Heaven and Earth - Prasanta Verma<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/prasantaverma.com\/index.php\/2018\/04\/07\/between-heaven-and-earth\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Between Heaven and Earth - Prasanta Verma\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Too much emptiness facing me, like an abyss. 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