Dying of the Same

I’m not quite sure what to do with this ache at times. I find emptiness facing me, like an abyss, and I feel as if I am staring into a black hole.

I wish I could unwrap the years and re-do so many things. It’s not that I don’t take joy in watching my kids grow; helping to launch them is a special reward and joy all its own.

It’s just that I will miss them. I feel I have not been mindful enough. I feel regret. I feel grief. It twists inside, this knife, this dagger of pain. Like something is lost and is dying….